I left Grigori in the garage with Hedy and Jamal, and we entered the safe room to find Dong sitting on the couch, sobbing with Bigs on his head, glaring at me. Bigs completely covered the old man’s head, and it took me a moment for my mind to figure out what I was looking at. Tipid and Imani were on the couch as well. Tipid was patting the old man on the shoulder while Bucket Boy stood by, looking helpless. Dong’s health was still in the green, but it was clearly going down.

“Healing potions or blessings don’t work,” Imani said, speaking quietly. “I can slow the descent of his health, but I don’t think I can stop it. He has an hour and a half. Maybe less.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to talk to Li Na.”

Jacobus buzzed around Bigs and Dong. The little fairy zoomed right up to Dong’s mouth and lifted his lips and peered inside before Imani yelled at him to get away. The little fairy zoomed off, following Imani.

“You’re not my favorite person right now, Daddy,” Bigs said from her position atop Dong’s head, swinging her hatchet in my direction. “First, you ain’t killing that Li Na murderer, and now you’re playing the bad guy in Dong’s love story. We sluggalos have a code. That code is ‘unity, support, family, and kneecaping bitches.’ You ain’t providing no unity, no support, you’re not watching after your family, and you’re not even letting me kneecap a bitch. That makes you the bitch.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I said.

“Wait, I am?” Bigs asked.

I turned to Donut. “You guys, follow Imani. I’ll be there in a minute. I need to talk to Dong. Porky, stay here.”

Donut and the others left. I returned my attention to Bigs.

“Yeah,” I said, “I’ve been a dick. I’m doing my best. A long, long time ago, I said something like ‘We need to help each other. Otherwise, what’s the point?’ When we stop doing that, that’s when we stop being . . .”

I paused.

Being human was what I’d said to Brandon.

We needed a word that went beyond that.

“Real Gs?” Bigs asked.

I smiled. “Real Gs.”

“Does that mean we’re going to slaughter Li Na and laugh as she drowns in her own blood?”

“No,” I said. “She’s a lot like me. She’s lost her way. We’re going to send her somewhere where she can help and not hurt any more of our friends.” I hope.

“You’re a good daddy,” Bigs finally said. “But I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”

She slimed off, leaving an orange streak on Dong’s head.

The older man had stopped crying and was just looking at me.

I took another deep breath. We didn’t have time, but at the moment, I didn’t care. “For the first part of this floor,” I began as I pulled a towel from my inventory, “I was happy that we were on rails. That we didn’t have a choice about what we were doing. It was so much easier than before. And even though the danger is just as high, if not higher, it was nice, for a little bit at least, that everything was so simple. Christ, what is this stuff that the sluggalos leak? Why is it so sticky?”

Dong blinked at me, not saying anything. I continued.

“But I quickly realized that this floor was a deliberate trap. It’s a drain designed to catch those of us who’ve been spat out of the bottom of Faction Wars and dared to go on. It’s a drain that spins faster and faster the closer we get to the hole, and suddenly we’re just gone, and it happens so fast, we don’t even realize it until it’s too late.”

“My good sir,” Dong began. “Carl.”

I held up my hand. “I know we don’t have much time, but I need to say this. I’ve been trying to keep you out of this quest, and it’s because I’m scared it’s not going to work and I’m scared that you’ll mess it up, not because I don’t trust you but because you’re too close to it. The fact that you are in love with this guy is a complication, not an asset. The smart thing to do is to keep you away while we get this done.”

I paused, taking a deep breath.

“But that’s not what we’re going to do. I’m going to have to attempt this Corcunda reunion during the race. I can bring three mercenaries. It’s going to be the fleshmancer guy, Porky here, and you. We’re going to do our best to save your friend.”

Dong sat up, deliberately not looking at Porky, who stood behind me, not saying anything. “Carl, I’m dying. Jefferson said I was a bad investment. And now I am weak, and my health is seeping away. I will not be able to help.”

“Maybe not,” I said. “But I’ll make sure you get to say goodbye to your friend.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “I won’t lie to you. We have to do some awful things to get through this, and oftentimes it’s at the expense of others. Sometimes we can’t take a moment to spare the feelings of a friend because there simply isn’t time. But if it’s worth anything, I want you to know that I’m sorry I tried to keep you two apart. I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk about it. Survival has more than one meaning. I am trying so, so hard. But sometimes . . .”

I turned to look at the door leading to the guildhall. Li Na was in there waiting. Everybody was waiting. I thought of that moment when I’d almost lost my cool and killed Empress D’Nadia on the last floor. Or of the moment when I did slip and lose it when Finley and the others had died.

I thought of the voices in my head whispering just below the surface, all scrabbling to grab my attention. I thought of the tremor in my hands that I’d been studiously ignoring since Donut’s attack in the tower.

Li Na. Lucia Mar. It would be so easy for that to be me. Hell, it was me. I was no longer standing on the edge. I had already stepped off, and now I was holding on by my fingers, and I was slipping, slipping, slipping.

You will not break me.

You will not.

Dong patted me on the arm and forced a smile. “Of course, my boy. Of course. I understand. Others don’t think of folks like myself as someone who can have a partner because of what we do. Like I’m unworthy of love when they’re the ones who come to me. It’s like they don’t think we’re real.” He paused. “Do you know why I fell in love with him?”

“Why?”

“There was a fight once in the Desperado Club. A big battle not unlike the one where you and Katia laid waste to the establishment. This was just after he’d been split. And I was afraid. I was afraid the fighting would spread to the Penis Parade and that we would all die. Corky looked at me, put a hand on my shoulder like you just did, and said, ‘Maybe we will die today. But if we do, then we will die together, and that’s more than most people get. There’s no such thing as a sad ending if it’s by the side of the people who make you happy.’”

Samantha was suddenly there, floating next to me. “I’m going to steal that line when Carl lets me drive and I make the car crash.”

“Gah,” I cried, surprised at her sudden appearance. “I didn’t hear you come in!”

“Everybody is waiting for you in the other room,” Samantha said. She sniffed around, suspicious. She turned to the other person in the room. “You’re the beautiful man, huh?” She snuffled around his leg. “You’re only half as handsome as I thought you’d be. Why don’t you unzip that thing and really open up to us?”

“Come on, Samantha. People are waiting.” I stood, patting Dong on the leg. “Rest while you can. Gather your strength. I have to go out there. There’s someone else here you should probably talk to.”

I moved aside, revealing the half-mantaur standing behind me, who’d been quietly waiting, listening.

Dong looked up, acknowledging the other presence for the first time.

“Hello,” Porky said, his voice quiet, sad. “I remember that day when the club was under siege. I soon thereafter left. I thought running a guild would be safer.”

Dong looked him up and down. “Good sir, that’s my scarf.”

“I know,” Porky replied, reaching up to touch it. “My other half let me have it when I went off. He said I’d want it, and I told him I was going to throw it out because it was really yours, and he said, ‘No, you won’t.’ And I didn’t.”

There was an awkward moment of silence.

“Why did you hate me?” Dong finally asked.

“Come on, Samantha,” I said, grabbing her out of the air. We needed to give them their privacy.

“Wait,” she complained. “I want to see what happens next. Deathbed make-up sex is my favorite kind. I’ve had it like three times. Four if you count that incident with Charlie. Do you think you can have make-up sex on a first date?”

“Just stop,” I said as we moved toward the door. “That’s not the half that he was with. That’s the other one.”

She gasped. “If they do hook up, do you think it would be considered cheating? Like, if you get the two pieces back together, and their mind melds, and suddenly the mantaur guy has this big moral conundrum because he cheated on himself with himself and then . . .” She paused. “Wait, how you are planning on getting them glued back together?”

“Come on,” I said, covering her mouth. She started growling and chewing on my hand.

I moved toward the exit with her struggling form. The cleaner bot was still here, pressed against the common room door, listening to what was going on in there.

I paused, regarding the grumpy but studious little robot. “You know,” I said, “you take a lot of abuse. I’m sorry for that. If this works out with your friend in there, we’ll be needing you to do the same thing. You’re a goddamned hero, and if I don’t get a chance to say it before we need you, I just want you to know that I appreciate it.”

The robot let out a long beep.