“This is not acceptable,” Donut said for the hundredth time. “Ew, ew, ew.”

“It’s not really splooge,” Louis said, bringing the bucket he’d purchased for me. “That’s what we’re calling it, though. It says it’s ‘secretions.’ I don’t think that means poop, but it smells like it. The bat dudes sell it.”

Even though they weren’t on our track, it turned out a few different races were using the same pit stop location, which was really weird given the theme. In one direction loomed a wall with tubes, which was the Satan’s Water Park race, and in another direction stood the devil’s cliffs. The fourth led to what appeared to be a rip-off of the third floor called “the eternal slum.”

Still, this wasn’t everyone. Tran’s pit stop was a Candy Land setting, and a few other crawlers reported they were at what was basically a shopping mall that just went on and on.

The storyline with the cannibals seemed to exist in all four worlds feeding into our own, which was doubly strange. In the water park, there were gingers literally falling down the slides on inner tubes attacking the racers. In Florin’s world, they had dune buggies.

Florin said they were currently in first place in their heat. Chris’s team was also doing well, despite having a big rig complete with a trailer. They’d focused on movement-based upgrades and were following Florin’s tricked-out tuk-tuk through their desert track, which ran alongside some sheer cliffs.

Prepotente wouldn’t stop talking about all the benefits of this newly discovered splooge potion.

“A single sip, like half of a potion bottle’s worth, appears to imbue one with about a half hour of protection,” Prepotente said. “It is truly a superior and versatile protection against most environments. Strange that it requires us to drink it manually.”

“It makes us drink it manually because it tastes like Miami swamp ass,” Louis said.

“I wouldn’t know,” Prepotente said.

Donut sat a good distance away, looking at us with disdain. “I am not getting anywhere near those disgusting-smelling buckets until you put them in your inventory.”

Zev’s voice came over a loudspeaker.

Hi again, everybody. Most of you have made it to your pit stops, so it’s time to reveal the twist.

As you’ve undoubtedly noticed, each track has four separate heats on it, and each pit stop combinesfour tracks. Each individual heat will roll for what path they continue on, so the second half of your race may not be on the same track you started on. There will be a random drawing for each individual heat, so the heats will be jumbled up. The moment the team in first place in your heat times out, you will receive your new assignment.

Also, some of you have received quests that require you to complete tasks that you have not yet completed. Please do not worry about that. Even though all four tracks are very different, the associated quests are mirrored on each track, and your quest will be transferred. In other words, you will be able to complete your quest on the new track.

Good luck, everybody.

“Shit,” I said, looking up in the air.

“Wait,” Donut said from her spot. “Does that mean we won’t be racing with Imani and Elle anymore? Or in the jungle?”

“Maybe,” I said. “We’ll find out in a few minutes.”

Florin nodded. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. Just got the notification. Me and Lucia moved from the desert to Satan’s Water Park.”

“I’m staying in the desert,” Chris said a minute later.

“And I am moving to the jungle,” Prepotente said, walking up. “Unfortunate. I had the water park tunnels all mapped. Sweety will be most upset. You just want to make certain you don’t take a wrong turn, as they come quickly. It’s very high-speed. This jungle appears to be more leisurely.”

The leading team in your heat, Team Sparkles, will soon be allowed to disembark. Rolling now for your track . . . You will be moving from the jungle track to Satan’s Water Park.

We still had almost an hour before we could leave, which meant we were way behind team Sparkles.

Before I could announce our new choice, I received a pair of notifications.

Your trap has activated! You have dissolved a Tigran! That hairy fucker is dead!

Again! Another trap has activated! You dissolved another tiger!

Team One Fine Pig has been eliminated due to the expiration of both racers. Five teams remain.

I held my breath, waiting to see if there was a notification about Penelope the pig. There was not.

“Looks like we’re in the slums,” Elle said. “Great. What did you get?”

“We have the water park!” Donut said.

“Okay,” I said. “Florin, we are with you. But we’re an hour behind. We need to win our heat. We need to win because we need to get that key. We need that key because we need to get that pig.”

“Mate, I don’t know what pig you’re talking about,” Florin said. “But if there’s a team in your heat you need slowed down, you just let me know.”

I grinned. “Let me tell you about a unicorn named Dwight.”