Dr. Metcalf beeped.

We have over forty possible paths to the pit stop, which is approximately thirty-five kilometers away as the bird flies. Actual length varies greatly depending on the path we choose. Not surprisingly, the safer the path, the longer it is. The safest path appears to be almost a hundred kilometers and is mostly winding dirt road. The shortest path is a direct line through the jungle that may require the clearing of foliage and has very uneven ground, and there appears to be a Temple of the Exploding Snake Goddess in the way.

A winding path lit up on the map.

Here is my suggestion. We start on the direct path, but we veer off before the temple. We will be forced to cross the I-Sure-Hope-These-Piranhas-Haven’t-Learned-to-Fly River here. There’s no bridge, but the map indicates the water as shallow and it shouldn’t be an issue with the tire and gyro upgrades. Then we will loop around the southern cannibal village, and we catch the end of the dirt road right into Upano. This path will circumvent any boss monsters or quests. Based on what we find at this pit stop and any necessary repairs, I can plot our path for the second half of the race, assuming we’re not dead.

“If we’re all split up, how can we tell what place we’re in?” Donut asked.

Gee, I don’t know. Maybe if I was properly updated, I could help with that.

“What about traps?” I asked.

They don’t put traps on the map. That would defeat the purpose of them being traps.

“I’ll have to keep my eyes forward the whole time,” I said. “That means Donut, Quemada, and Finley, you keep your eyes out for threats behind and to the sides.”

You know the third GPS upgrade comes with a threat radar.

“I get it,” I said through gritted teeth. “There’s only so much we can choose each race.”

This all comes from your inability to commit. Your fear that decisions are the same as shackles.

“What? What are you talking about?”

Outside, it started to rain. Ahead, the grass sizzled, and soon a smoky haze filled the area, and we could no longer see the dirt road. The containment bubble would protect us from the air, but it wouldn’t help us with the rain.

“Activating the shield,” Olga said.

Thwum. The new shield turned on, and it was the exact same size as the containment, though this was much more visible. Outside, Lucienne was still screaming, and Dwight had also joined in. They were screaming down at the Dominators.

While the plan was to try to kill team Sparkles, we didn’t have a specific strategy in place this time. I was starting to realize that was a mistake. I hadn’t talked to the womantaurs, but I knew they very likely held a grudge against team Sparkles for blowing us all up at the end of the last race. If they tried something, it was likely that Corky was going to get killed. I couldn’t let that happen.

He was the key to everything. Everything.

And now those idiots also had team Flamengo on the other side of them. A team that was just as likely to attack them as the unicorn.

I thought again of what Donut had said. I reached up to touch her, and I realized she, too, was shaking.

“No,” I said out loud.

“No what?” Donut asked.

I sent another message to Osvaldo. I tried a different tactic.

Carl: Hey, Osvaldo. I know you’re not talking to me, but I wanted to message you anyway. This is just you and me. Sorry about Donut. She lashes out when she’s stressed. Look, I have a question, and I hope you answer. Did you have a quest with that memorial crystal? And did you fulfill that quest? Did you ever figure out how to use it?

He didn’t answer right away. We only had a few minutes before the race would start.

Osvaldo: I had a quest to collect a memorial crystal for Tupa. I didn’t get it until right at the moment that Imogen died, and my entire party would have gotten smitten if I didn’t collect it, so I did. But then after I got it, he said that one was corrupted, wrong. Then I had a lead on a second one in the forest during Faction Wars, and we hunted it down, and then the god said that one was wrong, too, and now I have a new quest to find out why the memorial crystals aren’t working right.

Carl: Wait, so you had two memorial crystals?

Osvaldo: That’s why I gave that one to the goat. I was going to break it in front of him for killing Gimli, but I’m so tired of this. Tupa wasn’t sponsored at first, but now he is by some rich asshole. So I just gave the crystal to the goat. And then he was a complete prick about it and started yelling at me for not giving it to him sooner.

Christ, I thought. I had completely misread that situation. My intention had been to just get him talking, but now I was intrigued. Goddamn Prepotente had all the smarts in the world and still had no idea how to deal with people.

Carl: Who is the god you have the second crystal for?

I felt heat on my shoulder opposite Donut. It was Quemada.

“Uh, Que?” Finley asked from behind us. “You doing okay, mate?”

I turned to see the small fire fairy was just floating there. She was sobbing.

“I don’t know what is real anymore,” she said. “Is this real? Are you real? Am I real? Does any of this matter?”

Osvaldo: Ysalte. The Vinegar Bitch. The one Paz killed. He was my friend, you know. Paz and Anton and even Sister Ines. It’s like everyone who ever comes in contact with you dies. Now it’s our turn, I suppose.

Ahead, the floating traffic lights turned from red to yellow. The race would start in twenty seconds.

Fucking hell, I thought.