There’s no such thing as a ‘fair fight’ with William Oh. Merely being his opponent has already put you at a disadvantage. What did you expect? A fight where either side has an equal chance of losing? William Oh doesn’t lose.

-           Level 15 Climber in a Second-Floor Inn

“Alright, where are the drugs?” Ria demanded, grabbing the Ear Collector’s hands and twisting them up behind him. “I know there’s a surge around the tournament. People like to get high and watch the fights.”

“Exactly. People like to do that, so why are you being a killjoy?” the Ear Collector asked, struggling to move and finding himself overpowered. “Listen, rookie, you’ve only been a guardswoman for, like, two months, and they only let you in ‘cause you got that retard strength. Maybe keep your head down, lift heavy things for your superiors for a couple years, and learn a bit more about how Akul works before you try to single-handedly stop all crime everywhere.”

“If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. What I want right now is to know where you keep your stash,” Ria said.

“Why, you wanna get lit? Ow, ow, ow.” Ear Collector winced as his bones creaked in Ria’s hands.

“Oh sure, let me just abandon my reputation and the business I’ve been cultivating for thirty years because a pretty girl in a uniform asked. Let me tell you, honey, that ain’t the right uniform. But I hear 5th Floor Fantasies is hirin—OW OW OW!

“Wait, wait!” the Ear Collector shouted, prompting Ria to ease up the pressure.

“You gonna talk?”

“Obviously not. No, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Ria asked, but a moment later, the wind over the alleyway carried the sound of steel clanging against steel and screams of pain, followed by a series of distant explosions.

A moment later, William Oh jumped over the alley, pursued by nearly a dozen armed men.

The slightly cool and slightly heroic young man glanced down at them as he passed. Ria would never admit it to anyone, though.

“Ah, crap,” Ear Collector muttered.

“What, why?” Ria asked.

“INCOMING!” Will’s voice came an instant before he looped back around towards them, sprinting into the alley from the main street, thugs hot on his trail. “Two freebies!” Will held up a leather-clad hand with two fingers extended.

Ear Collector shook his head.

“Three!” Will held up another finger.

“DEAL!” Ear Collector shouted back.

“Hey! Are you guys crime-ing? Hey!” Ria demanded, suspecting she’d just witnessed an illicit deal go down…but having no context for what it might’ve been.

“Gonna wanna leggo ‘fore they get here, sweetheart,” Ear Collector said.

Ria’s eyes widened as she spotted the ten or so men charging after Will, their eyes crazed, practically foaming at the mouth with the desire to kill.

“WILL, WHAT DID YOU DO?!” she demanded, shoving the Ear Collector aside and grabbing her halberd.

***William Oh, 30 Seconds Before***

“Fighters, BEGIN!” the announcer cried, making a chopping motion.

Will immediately tensed his legs to leap upward and turn this fight into a chase.

A pulse of energy washed over him and his body froze in place.

Eh?

The nearest thug wound up a beheading strike as Will struggled to move, while another aimed to gut him.

He wasn’t frozen so much as he was slowed to a ridiculous degree, moving at a snail’s pace regardless of how hard he struggled to move. It was as if the air itself had turned to pitch.

Phantom Hand was slowed as well, but since the Ability was already blindingly fast, it moved at a brisk jog.

Which…wasn’t nearly fast enough to save him.

Move, MOVE!

Stevie emerged from the wall beside the beheader and grabbed his arm, sucker-punching him in the side of the head, while Billy-Bob yanked the other one’s feet out from under him, causing the thug to crack his jaw open on the cobblestones.

Together, the two spirit butlers grabbed Will’s glacially slow body under the arms and prepared to throw him high into the sky.

…I still got those smoke bombs, yeah?

The instant before he was launched upward, Will released a present from his Dimensional Storage, preserving its starter with Sourdough.

Now that he knew he could direct Charges and certain Abilities through his Phantom Hand, there was no reason not to. Will tried to do something he’d never tried before: using Sourdough to retain the starter of the new item as he released it from Phantom Hand’s Dimensional Storage.

Sourdough

61->60 Charges remaining.

The alleyway erupted into smoke and screaming as the smoke bomb blinded them to his escape.

Only temporarily, though.

“Godsdamnit, how—? Where did he go?!”

Will was ever so slowly pushing himself to his feet on the slanted shingles as a trickle of men began streaming out of the smoke: the ones that had either seen where he went or simply jumped upward to get out of the smoke.

The first one out got a faceful of Aetherhawk, summoned by his glove. The thug tumbled back, throwing others behind him back into the smoke as Magnus did his best to claw and peck his face off, sending his victim shrieking back to the ground.

What a cutie.

Will saw the announcer and priestess erupt from the smoke, landing on the roof with grace and power that far exceeded that of a typical level 25.

The priestess clasped her hands together and waited patiently for either of them to suffer lethal damage, but the announcer was fired up.

“And William Oh counters the powerful Slow effect with pre-summoned minions, retreating to the roof above the alley for a strategic advantage!”

“He’s on the roof! Get up there!” his opponent’s voice called out.

As the Slow debuff waned, Will gave the announcer a hard look before pulling his mask out and slapping it down over his face.

She had the decency to shrug and look a bit sheepish.

Sourdough

60->57 Charges remaining.

The three fireball beads he’d purchased from the consumable store in Coalton sailed down into the alley, exploding with vibrant flashes of orange that lit up the thick smoke from the inside, catching any of the attackers who hadn’t immediately jumped for the roof.

About half of them were dissuaded from continuing pursuit, but there were still twenty or so remaining.

Best purchase in recent memory. Aside from Jason’s hype about me, I suppose.

The Slow effect was fully gone by the time they located him and began chasing.

He must be using something like the Ring of Curse Concentration to trade duration for potency.

Five seconds of 95% speed reduction was more dangerous in practice than 100 seconds at 5%, since it allowed for a coup de grâce.

Will didn’t have any way to prevent getting hit by the Slow whammy again, nor did he have a good answer to it. Now that Stevie and Billy-Bob had revealed their presence, they would only be able to help minimally if he were slowed that much again.

Need space, and maybe I can find a better spot to fight them, Will thought, lowering his head and breaking into a sprint across the roof tiles.

Come to think of it, I run across roofs more than the average Climber, don’t I? Will thought.

“And William Oh seeks to take advantage of the ringless arena and his superior maneuverability to buy some time!” the announcer shouted, running along beside him, effortlessly keeping up with his full-speed dash.

Will felt the familiar pulse of energy and his body locked up halfway over the spine of a roof, causing his foot to catch and sending him tumbling headlong down the other side, unable to move his arms fast enough to catch his fall.

Wonder if this is how Hiro felt? Will wondered as he approached the edge of the roof, the alleyway spinning closer and closer…

Will caught himself by the belt with the Phantom Hand, preventing himself from tumbling off the edge, only to glance up and spot half a dozen thugs cresting the roof behind him, eyes inflamed from the smoke bomb.

Homefield Advantage

56 Charges remaining.

“AAAA-EEEEEE!” Their war cries devolved into shrieks of terror as their headlong sprint down the slope of the roof turned into a terminal velocity plummet towards the unforgiving stone three stories below.

One of the flailing mercenaries got a lucky flail as he went by, carving a deep gouge into Will’s side. It bled pretty good, drawing a line of blood across his shirt, but it didn’t cut through his ribs, so it wasn’t inherently lethal.

Another tried for his neck and Will yanked himself to the side at the Phantom Hand’s subdued pace, only getting a shallow graze across his neck and nicking his mask where it guarded his jaw.

The merc ‘tsked’ an instant before he disappeared off the side of the roof into the alleyway below.

A moment later, the Slow effect was gone and Will scrambled to his feet, lunging to the next rooftop over while the dozen or so remaining thugs went around his ice slick, aiming to surround him.

That felt about a second less than the one before. Four seconds instead of five.

Was the Ability built to have diminishing returns in exchange for a stronger initial effect on the—generally correct—assumption it wouldn’t need a second application?

He might be bluffing. Always assume it’ll last the full five seconds. Or more. A Relic could come into play as a trump card.

A few of them had gotten ahead of him, and Will pointed his falconer’s glove at the one covering the largest gap. An ethereal hawk dropped out of the sky, claws extended towards the man’s face.

To his credit, the merc saw it coming and reacted with superhuman speed, blocking the attack with the flat of his blade, catching Magnus’s semi-physical claws an instant before they landed.

An instant later, he unleashed an Ability, a massive flaming purple hand erupting from his wrist and crushing Will’s hawk.

The two summons vied over which one was more potent, with Will’s bird giving a pained screech…until Stevie emerged from the floor, grabbed the merc’s ankles and yanked them out from under him.

A tried-and-true maneuver.

Will leapt past the merc, busting through the encirclement and putting all his enemies solidly behind him, while his bird escaped the Ability and flew up into the sunset, masking his next attack.

A heartbeat later, Will jumped over an alley, spotting Ria shaking down the Ear Collector in the hours after the bakery closed…as was her current tradition.

Will ran a brief cost-benefit analysis. And decided that it was worth the risk. The Wyrd family was unlikely to be watching this bout, and if they were…they would only see it for what it was…

Scraping off pursuit on a hapless guardswoman.

Will juked left hard as soon as he passed over to the next roof, slapping an Ability out of the hand of a mercenary before he shoulder-checked him out of the way, fire spreading across his neck and torso as the wounds tore slightly.

Will jumped down into the crowded streets, weaving through the locals, who did an admirable job of moving out of the way, given that everyone was at least level 20.

He reached the alleyway where Ear Collector was doubled over with his arm twisted behind his back.

“Two freebies!” Will offered to perform two smugglings for free in exchange for the Ear Collector’s help with the current situation.

Will could see the Ear Collector process that in an instant, his slight smirk and head-shake giving away that he knew Will didn’t have a strong spot to negotiate from at the current moment, but they didn’t have all the time in the world to haggle.

“Three!”

“Deal!” Ear Collector said as Will sprinted towards him.

“Gonna wanna leggo ‘fore they get here, sweetheart,” Ear Collector said.

Ria’s eyes widened as they focused on the mob behind Will.

“WILL, WHAT DID YOU DO?!” she demanded, shoving the Ear Collector aside and grabbing her halberd.

“And William Oh has recruited outside help in the form of local crime kingpin, the Ear Collector, and the new recruit Guardswoman, Ria! Let’s see how they do!” the announcer said from her perch above the alley.

“Use bludgeoning,” Will said, finally drawing his tomahawk as he felt the blood from his wounds crawl down his side, wet and sticky.

“Gotcha,” Ear Collector said, bashing his fists together, an Ability passing through the loop of ears around his neck, causing them to glow with power.

“What is going on?!” Ria demanded.

This was going to be a very risky move, but it could swing the entire fight.

Switching Slotted Relic from Wand of the Undead Retainer to Sickle of Cold Harvest.

+5 Focus

+8 Strength

5% life drain

Applies Hoarfrost debuff to those damaged by the user, 14 seconds.

(Hoarfrost: The victim’s attack and movement are slowed up to 87% as crystals grow on their joints. The sharp crystals boost bludgeoning damage against the victim but interfere with slashing and fire damage.)

Will’s hair rose on his neck at the visceral popping sensation of switching from one finger on his Phantom Hand to another, causing the third finger to blacken and radiate a dim phantom pain as he switched to the second.

“AAAH!” The mercs screamed as they charged, eyes red. They must be affected by some kind of berserk buff, because normally they wouldn’t carelessly charge a guardsman after losing two thirds of their number.

Using the move he’d learned from the battle with the Wyrd mercs, Will threw his tomahawk up above the heads of the charging enemies, catching it with Phantom Hand and triggering its psychic AOE.

49 Charges remaining.

Will’s maximum capacity of Charge had dropped from 62 to 50 after switching Relics.

The vast majority of the charging mercs were suddenly sheathed in hoarfrost that slowed their movements to nearly nothing, causing them to begin tumbling, unable to move fast enough to sustain their momentum.

Will felt a flood of healing suffuse his body, the wounds on his torso and neck sealing in an instant into crude scars that looked welded shut. A decent amount of the damage was still there, but they were a lot better and wouldn’t get any worse.

Ear Collector stepped forward and smashed one of the tumbling mercs with a fist, another with an elbow, delivering devastating damage due to the interaction between Hoarfrost and bludgeoning damage.

The Cursemage turned the corner and lifted his hand.

Will ducked behind Ria.

“Hey, what are you—”

Ria froze in place.

One of the few mercenaries who escaped the AOE charged forward, swinging a handaxe down at Will.

Will maneuvered his meat shield into the way, the axe making a dull thunk sound as it refused to dig into Ria’s shoulder any further than a papercut might.

The merc gasped in pain as the Phantom Hand drove Will’s tomahawk into his back. An instant later, he was sheathed head-to-toe in hoarfrost, and Will’s gloved fist shattered his jaw.

Literally.

Thankfully, the man’s skin held everything together so a Healer could piece the bone back together, and Will enjoyed the sensation of ache from his wounds fading away as Lifesteal caught up.

“—DOING?!” Ria shouted, shoving Will away from her.

“OOOF!”

The wind was driven out of Will’s lungs as he impacted the wall with enough force to send cracks through the stonework.

And there goes the wound again, Will thought as the one on his torso flared with pain.

That was only two seconds. Is she stronger at resisting it than me, or is my opponent weakening, or did he just pull the Ability so it wasn’t wasted on her?

Will’s body froze, followed by Ria and Ear Collector.

Crap.

1…

Ear Collector shouted, one of the ears on his grisly necklace crumbling into ash as he shrugged off the debuff, whipping out a hooked knife that was obviously meant to remove ears from unwilling victims as he charged the Cursemage.

The Cursemage formed a little red ball and shot it outside the alley, sticking it on one of the curious onlookers.

2…

Ear Collector’s feet shifted and he charged the hapless spectator, who squawked and began sprinting away, frantically trying to rid himself of the sticky Ability, Ear Collector bellowing like a madman as he gave chase.

Ria unfroze and charged forward, wielding her halberd. “Stop right—”

3…

Will tensed up, getting ready to move.

The Cursemage spun another orb of red magic, shooting Ear Collector in the back with it.

Ria swerved and charged after Ear Collector, who in turn chased the hapless civilian, who was running like he’d never run before.

4…

The Slow didn’t let up.

The Cursemage whipped up a hand, and Will felt the Slow effect lock into place. He glanced up at Will’s floating axe, slowly returning to him. Will could see him measuring the AOE and speed, determining if he could beat it back to Will.

He could.

His enemy pulled out a blade with his left hand and rushed for Will’s chest, his right hand still held up, locking the Slow effect in place by bleeding Charge.

5…

Will waited until the last second. The range on this Ability was fairly short.

49->44 Charges remaining.

Will sent five Charges through his expensive boots.

Lightning Pulse

A web of lightning spread out from Will’s feet, latching onto the sprinting Cursemage and causing his muscles to tighten up.

His opponent dove forward, his rigidly held, poorly aimed dagger sliding off Will’s sternum.

The Slow effect expired as the Cursemage’s paralyzed hand pointed towards the ground, the curse-sustaining Ability losing connection with him.

Will launched himself forward, catching his opponent’s face with an elbow an instant before his tomahawk swept down at wind-rending speed and caught Josh the Cursemage in the side, shattering his ribcage and burying the blade in his organs, the sheer force the Phantom Hand delivered lifting him up and slamming him into the stone wall.

Will caught the axe as his Phantom Hand delivered it back to him, raising it to finish his enemy off.

In the blink of an eye, his opponent was covered by a priestess holding a hand to the Cursemage’s wound, glowing with divine light.

Will pulled the axe an instant before it struck the priestess in the back. He didn’t need trouble with another church.

“The priestess of Holdna has called the match, and the winner is William Oh by lethal maiming! A frenetic match, and certainly more enjoyable than his first showing,” the announcer said. Who she was performing for, Will had no idea.

There was some scattered applause from the street outside.

“How do you have,” the Cursemage rasped, coughing out a lungful of blood as his torso sewed itself back together under the priestess’s hand, “so many Abilities?”

“Money,” Will replied with a shrug.