Chapter 44: Sobering Realization

Having just received another seal, Rick caught a bit of slack from H, and he should have been happy. It wasn't as if he had any intention of relaxing on his training, especially when he was still trying to rebuild all the Lucores that Teragen had thoroughly disrupted.

But doing that required focus and certainty. For once, Rick was lacking in both, still troubled by everything Granny Whitney had said. At times he could almost convince himself that she had been telling lies for the sake of manipulating him, but at others he worried he might be burying his head in the sand. It made it very difficult to really take a step forward.

Which was why he had allowed Raggest to drag him out of their hotel to some sort of fighting ring. As they walked to the location, Rick was still trying to figure out exactly what it was, which was made more difficult by the fact that even Raggest didn't seem to know. But he'd heard something about a unique Nokan arena, so that was where they were headed.

"Oh, hey, there it is!" Raggest slapped him on the shoulder excitedly. "Come on, let's see what it's like!"

The building itself was all gleaming chrome and sharp angles, yet the entrance was an archway of carved stone that looked ancient. When they approached, a bouncer in traditional Nokan robes stepped into their path with a polite smile.

"Welcome to the Emperor's Menagerie. As the two of you are foreigners, if you wish to observe, you will need to purchase a membership or a one time pass."

"Sure, whatever." Raggest dug around in one pocket and shoved a bar of lucrim at the man, briefly surprising both of them. Rick thought that everyone knew that lucrim was stored in different ways in different countries, and they'd even discussed it back in South Africa, but Raggest seemed oblivious.

"Sir... this is not a money exchange. If you wish to use foreign currency, there will be a 50% markup."

"Eh? You need more?" Raggest started to hand over a couple more bars, but Rick stepped in before he could waste all his money.

"They just want Nokan lucrim containers, man," Rick said. "Or... I hope that pure lucrim would be accepted?"

The bouncer immediately bowed and revealed a wooden rod from within his sleeve. "Please simply convert the appropriate amounts into this vessel. It will be 125 lucrim for each of you, presuming you desire only a one day pass."

Rick nodded and transferred the lucrim straight from his lucrima soul. Normally he would have needed to convert his lucrim containers for every country, suffering fees all along the way. Thanks to all the training he'd done for useless job interviews at banks, he was adept at storing it in raw form. Nearly everyone would accept lucrim that way, so he saved a lot of money on fees. Maybe not so much money compared to his current life, but he couldn't stand to lose lucrim for no reason.

Of course, now he was paying 250 lucrim just to enter some random arena. As they were allowed inside, Raggest handed him the bars of lucrim instead, saying it was to repay his fee. The bars were worth well over 400, leading Rick to wonder if the younger man had any sense for money at all, but then they were entering and his attention was thoroughly distracted.

The crowded hallways were ordinary enough, filled with tourists and fight enthusiasts alongside different vendors. But most of the images on the walls showed demons instead of humans, and one of the largest posters seemed to promote a fight between a human and a demon. He wasn't sure exactly how that was possible, but Raggest was eagerly pulling him onward to the arena itself.

As they entered, Rick felt a strange aura pass over his body and shivered. He felt as if he was coated in a thin layer of oil, the world sliding past him. Yet even that couldn't distract him from the sight of the arena floor: a team of three humans was fighting against a team of demonic apes.

Both sides actually made contact with one another, as if they existed in the same realm. Rick tried to look more carefully, examining if the demons had bonded animals somehow, yet he didn't think that was actually the case. When he turned to ask Raggest, he discovered that the other man was already rushing to the edge, hollering his approval at the fighters below.

"How exactly does that work?" Rick directed the question towards Katenka, and when she swirled into being, something was slightly different about her.

"Most parts of the world have a firm barrier between the human and demon realms," she said, then reached out and tapped him on the side of the head. He actually felt her finger, though not quite like a physical touch. "The Nokan Empire has fundamentally different beliefs, and they've long taken steps to thin the barrier."

"Huh. I've never heard of anything like that... though I guess that thing Damian used was similar."

"You could think of that as an isolated instance of the policy that is applied nation-wide here." Katenka smiled and gestured forward. "But perhaps you should follow your friend and see what all the fuss is about."

As it turned out, the fuss was entirely understandable: you couldn't see humans and demons fighting each other in very many places in the world. Otherwise, it struck him as the same as every other pit fight, not so dissimilar from the Underground. Raggest seemed enraptured, but Rick just watched the fights carefully.

What quickly became obvious to him was that the fighters had very different levels of experience. Some of the humans came in with wrestling techniques, unprepared for opponents with inhuman bodies and multiple limbs. But on the other side, some of the demons were surprisingly clumsy, making leaping movements that might have worked in the demon realm but let them be easily taken down. On both sides, there were a few who clearly understood how to fight different opponents, and those were the ones who attracted the largest cheers from the audience.

It might have been interesting to participate, though Rick wasn't sure how much that would cost. He suspected that he could do fairly well, even if they found opponents with strength similar to his. Though he hadn't fought many demons directly, he had some experience with their techniques, and fighting against jackalopes and other animals had rounded out his style.

Raggest was not actually much fun, just cheering anyone who succeeded and booing those who failed. Katenka proved more interesting, remaining manifest beside him and occasionally commenting on the specific demons. He quickly learned that while she hadn't been to the Nokan Empire before, she had some exposure to their customs in the demon realm.

Here, there was no "Siberia" and "Burning Snow" - it was the Nokan Empire on both sides. Apparently they considered demonic fusion to be a clumsy foreign concept, though Katenka argued it was better suited to the modern world. It might have been an interesting conversation, if not for the next fighter.

It was a young Nokan man struggling against a massive demon with six arms, all of them sending bursts of aura fire cascading around him. The other humans had fallen earlier in the fight, which Rick had a feeling was like the "Slayer" matches: it was bloodsport for the audience, watching a superior opponent curbstomp weaker enemies.

Yet his last opponent struggled on, despite the blood sliding down the side of his head. His portfolio wasn't anything special, but he had a speed Lucore that he'd clearly spent a lot of time on. Against his opponent's strategy of blanketing the field with aura flames, it let him keep dodging while his opponent wasted more and more energy.

Not enough. An aura flame eventually caught the young man in the chest and sent him crumpling against the arena wall. Most cheered the triumphant demon, while Rick watched to make sure that healers attended the young man. A few did, but he doubted they would heal everything.

Meanwhile, Raggest sat back with a look of disgust. "A failure. I really thought he was going to pull that off, the way he was dodging. Leap in there and punch the demon through the face!"

"He couldn't have done that," Rick said. "The demon had shrugged off stronger blows and he didn't have a good offensive Lucore."

"That's his fault, isn't it?"

Rick frowned over at the other man. "Seriously? Look at his clothes: do you think he's swimming in lucrim? I would have thought that you'd have admired him, enduring that long even when he knew he couldn't win. He was getting faster during the fight, too, learning from it."

"Yeah, and then he folded after taking just a few hits." Raggest shook his head. "I'd have been impressed if he won, sure. But that one just danced around and then got the shit kicked out of him. I would have blasted the demon straight to hell. You probably could have walked straight into all those flames and not even flinched."

"Probably, but he didn't have our advantages."

"Huh?" Raggest turned to look at him, baffled. "Come on, Rick, are you going to spout this kind of bullshit at me? Everything we have, we earned. If he didn't work as hard as we have, that's his fault."

Sitting in a packed arena, Rick sat completely alone. He just stared at Raggest, searching for anything other than earnestness in the other man's expression. That Nokan man could have been Rick, several years ago, struggling to make his one strength into a career. The only difference between them...

"Raggest, that's not fair." He was angrier than he expected, but couldn't hold back. "You've had Alger giving you valuable supplements, pills, and elixirs for years. He's given you world class techniques and constant guidance. You can't compare y-"

"What, you think I haven't earned this?" Raggest turned on him, more baffled than angry. "I've worked hard every day, harder than anyone else. And you don't have any room to talk. Your mentor has been feeding you constant Formula T, giving you that awesome golden technique, and paying for body reforging. You think that you didn't earn all that?"

All at once, Rick realized that he hadn't.

Yes, he'd been working hard for months, and yes, he'd struggled to earn each step. But he imagined that Mike and every other asshole Birthrighter thought that they earned what they had as well. Rick might not have been the same as them, yet the thought tore into him, forcing him to reconsider everything...

He didn't want to believe it, but Granny Whitney's words returned heavier than before. Worse than that, he started looking at all his own experiences in the Showdown under a new light. Not wanting to accept the conclusion, Rick decided to charge straight into it.

"How did you meet Alger?" he asked quietly. Raggest blinked at him in surprise.

"What, are you saying that I didn't earn that? You think he picked me like I won a lucrim lottery? I had to prove myself to him. Everyone else failed to reach his home through all the traps, but I followed the dreams and fought m-"

"What did you say?" Rick had grabbed the front of Raggest's shirt without even realizing it. The younger man immediately bashed away his hands and glared at him.

"Dreams of destiny, man. I know some people don't believe in them, but I thought you might know about this. Alger says that those who are destined for more than a boring life have lucrim dreams of what they will become."

"And what did you dream?"

"Myself as a powerful warrior, mostly. But I dreamed the path to Alger's house and I had the courage to follow it!"

Rick slowly took a step back and his leg nearly collapsed. The words might as well have been a physical blow, and the realizations he'd been holding off crashed into him in an assault he couldn't hold back.

What had led him to the Showdown was the inexplicable dream of a dangerous opponent. From there, Alger had made a clumsy attempt to recruit him... only to drive him directly into the hands of H. His mentor had given him everything, funneling him onto a path where he was completely controlled. In the Showdown, there was only one path upward, and that was Alger's path.

Though most of Rick was absolutely certain that it was true, he didn't want to accept such a conclusion without more evidence. Somehow he was still moving instead of collapsing under the weight of it. He patted Raggest on the shoulder and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, man, I've just had a lot on my mind lately. Plus, I think I lost track of time and didn't get any Formula T when I should have."

"Oh, that's not good at all." Raggest smiled as if the argument was entirely forgotten. "I'd give you some of mine, but I think my version is different."

"You drink Formula T too? Can I see?"

"I mean, I'm not actually sure what mine is called. Alger just gives it to me to help me get stronger." Raggest cooperatively bent down to his pack and pulled out the thermos. "I really don't think you should take too much, but if you want to try, why not? Might be a fun challenge."

Hands trembling slightly, Rick unscrewed the thermos lid and stared down at the golden liquid within. It looked almost exactly the same. He hesitantly took a sip and immediately felt the surge of power rush through him. Yes, it was Formula T. What Raggest was taking was more concentrated, but he couldn't doubt it was the same thing, and in turn he couldn't doubt his full conclusions.

"You're right, I shouldn't take yours." Rick handed it back, trying and failing to smile. "Listen, I need to run back and get mine. But thanks for taking me to the arena."

"Oh, sure thing. I was hoping we could both fight, but we'll get it figured out later." With that, Raggest turned away from him, focusing on nothing but the fights.

Rick walked out of the arena completely numb. As he stepped onto the street, the spiritually oily sensation vanished, but he still felt coated in the realizations. He'd been a fool for a long time, walking the path set before him and addicting himself. The only difference between him and a power addict was that he had backers who kept feeding him lucrim.

But they could withdraw it at any time.

That was what troubled him most. He could try to convince himself that even if Alger was using him, he was using Alger in return, but that wasn't really true. Alger had him entirely in his power, and when the time came, he could use his leverage to make Rick do whatever he wanted. Or more likely, play the villain and have H send him to do what Alger really wanted.

If Rick had been alone, he wasn't sure what he would have done. But Katenka had been hovering silently behind him during the entire conversation and she hadn't faded even when he left the arena. He turned and stared at her, almost too dazed to focus.

"I'm an idiot. You put it together too, didn't you? He's been manipulating me from the beginning."

"I haven't heard of anyone who can directly manipulate dreams," Katenka said softly. "But I don't think it's theoretically impossible. And which is more likely: that someone learned how to create dreams, or that prophetic dreams of the future exist?"

"Right. I've fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. I thought Raggest was oblivious, but I'm just as much of an idiot." Rick sat down on the curb and dropped his head into his hands. Yet before he could curl into misery, Katenka continued speaking.

"That isn't true, and I'm proof of that."

"...what do you mean?"

"One thing I can promise you is that I'm not part of this manipulation. I don't know what demonic contract H had prepared for you, but I'm sure that it would have put you further under his control. And you told me that he wanted you to use something called a Midas Foundation... imagine if your entire portfolio was built around power he controlled."

"That's..." Rick wanted to snap back on instinct, but forced himself to think. "Maybe you're right. But I have to assume that Lisa was right and I'm addicted to Formula T. Even if I could escape it, I couldn't compete in the Showdown without it."

"Do you want to?" Katenka watched him thoughtfully. "I can't answer that question for you, Rick. But you helped me escape Siberia. I'll support you as well as I can, whatever you decide."

It was a surprisingly good question. Rick sat back and stared at the sky for a while, his mind sliding around the thought instead of fully addressing it. The Showdown had never been his dream, it had been something that he'd stumbled into because it seemed like the best option. Just like fighting in the Underground or working for the Global Lucrim Authority. Alger might have unnatural abilities, but he wasn't a god. Rick made it easy to manipulate him because of how he plunged blindly toward his goals, just like Raggest.

Once he thought about it that way, the problem wasn't so impossible. Rick rubbed his eyes until he could see clearly, then stood up. It was time to make some calls.