Chapter 33: Moments with Melissa

Melissa let out a moan of pure satisfaction as the glorious hands kept working over her back. Those fingers were freaking magic. All of the stress from... all of her stress just melted away. Plus she'd had a kink in her lower back ever since the CLAT and the massage finally took care of it.

The first time Lisa had given her a massage it had actually been a bit awkward, since Melissa wasn't comfortable around very many people. With one obvious exception she tried not to think about, there wasn't a lot of positive physical affection in their family. She couldn't deny how much it helped, though, and she'd come to enjoy it as well. When Melissa relaxed, Lisa seemed to relax as well and did a better job, or maybe she just knew her better.

"You really sound like you needed this today," Lisa said. "Looks like you didn't bruise during the trials, though."

"Yeah, I got off fairly easy." Melissa yawned and stretched. "I think I almost pulled something in one leg, but otherwise I'm just tired."

"So you think you did well on your CLAT?"

"I really hope so. That thing was a heck of a lot of trouble." It was easier to speak lightly about it than to think about how it had happened and the fact that there had been no one to greet her after it was done. "I left two questions blank on the written portion, since I didn't want to get penalized too much, but that means I couldn't get a perfect score there. And I wasn't able to make the watermark thing float all the way to the top."

"Oh, don't worry about that." Lisa leaned in closer and gave her a reassuring pat on the back before returning to her usual massage. "The CLAT isn't about maxing the scores in every category. It's proving competence across the board while you're still young that matters."

"That's what I tell myself, but I did better in some of my practices... I stayed focused for part of it, but I really had trouble concentrating..."

They lapsed into silence for a while, not as comfortable as usual. Before it could get awkward, Lisa spoke up again. "Hey, do they still make you do that meditation thing where you have plates stacked on your lap and head? It's been ages since I took the CLAT and I haven't really checked."

"Mmm? Yeah, we had to do that. Why?"

"Well, it might be good discipline on its own, but unlike the other tests, it's not positively correlated with performance by other metrics. The CLAT is overall a well designed test, but it's like they stuck in a relic from a previous era because it was tradition."

"You mean I spent all that time practicing it for nothing? Aww, man, what a rip-off..."

They finished not long after and Lisa went to wash her hands while Melissa quickly got her shirt back on properly. Her muscles felt all warm and gooey, but now there wasn't much to distract her. She had needed this, yes, but she needed more than that. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do...

"Hey, Lisa. Are you doing anything after this?"

"Not particularly." The other woman turned and gave her a smile. "Why, do you have a suggestion?"

"Well, that sounds way more formal, like I've planned something. I was just wondering how your work is going with the mixtures. I really appreciate getting them, don't get me wrong, so I just feel like I should be more involved. Is it going well?"

"Mostly. Everyone says you lose money the first several years after starting a business before making a profit. I'm in that period... of course, you lose money the first several years before you quit, too, so that might not mean anything."

"Aww, I think your stuff is great!"

"Thanks, but I'm going up against the products of multinational corporations. It's hard to establish myself as reputable." Lisa leaned back against a wall and stared upward with a sigh. "The only advantage I really have is that my work is customized to the individual, but I need more of an edge there. I'm not actually qualified to provide all the services a good customized lucrim trainer should."

Melissa hadn't really thought too hard about Lisa's work, but now she was curious. "Like what? Don't you just need the knowledge of mixing the right things together?"

"That's the start, but sometimes you need expensive equipment or advanced techniques. One of my richer clients actually gave me several expensive ingredients to blend - I've gotten him convinced - and I had to pay to have someone else do it properly. That keeps me in business, but I lose money on it."

"But if I know you, you're working to change that, right?"

"I'm trying." Lisa shrugged with a weak smile. "I've been going to a few conferences and seminars about ether creation. It's a specialized niche, but it blends very well with my work. If I could gain proper qualifications there, I could create much more advanced mixtures."

"Ooh, really?" Melissa moved in and grabbed the other woman's wrists. "Show me! Aura generation is just normal, but making ether... I don't know, that's like magic."

"Well, I suppose I can. Come this way." They stepped from Lisa's massage room, which was really just an extra bedroom with a table, and into her kitchen. She pulled out a glass jar, sprayed it with antiseptic, sterilized it with aura, then set to work.

Lisa raised her hand, palm up, and closed her fingers just slightly. Melissa watched her, feeling a bit stupid to be staring at a hand. Creating ether wasn't like creating aura, and even though both came from lucrim, she wasn't sure on the details. It would look the same to her whether Lisa was doing a super-genius job or just pretending.

Gradually, however, the light above her hand began to increase. Lisa grimaced and clenched her fingers just a little more, then for the first time Melissa saw something unusual: a golden bubble floating above her hand. Not aura or a container for lucrim, but lucrim converted into raw matter as ether. Slowly the bubble swelled and thickened, then began to fill with a golden liquid. It spun around inside the bubble, gradually growing.

As it grew Lisa's fingers tightened until her knuckles were white and it looked like she was trying to tear something out of the air itself. Just as the bubble was nearly full, Lisa let out a gasp and quickly turned her hand over. The bubble moved with her hand, then fell, splattering into the jar. Lisa quickly placed a lid on top and screwed it closed, frowning at the liquid covering the bottom of the jar.

Since she looked a bit self-conscious, Melissa clapped rapidly for her. "Ooh! I've never seen someone actually make ether before! It's pretty, like honey... but I'm guessing I shouldn't drink it."

"No, definitely not in this stage." Lisa smiled briefly, then went back to frowning at the liquid. "The thing is, it's not actually supposed to be this dark and viscous. Ideally it should be less like honey and more like... I don't know, colored water?"

"Are you telling me that ether should basically look like a sports drink? Does it have electrolytes?"

"Heh, I suppose that's one way you could describe it. Once that would have gotten ether creators all upset, but there are actual sports drink manufacturers doing really good work now, so I suppose it's not an insult anymore."

"Hmm, but I'm not sure I get it." Melissa peered at the liquid closer. "I completely understand how you could include this in a mixture or philosopher's elixir or something to make it better. How do you make solid objects like ether-enchanted doors and things? Can you solidify it somehow?"

"No, if you want to create solid ether, you have to create it in that state. But I'm just getting started, and liquid is the easiest state for ether." Lisa paused and gave a half shrug. "Well, gas is actually easier. But considering that it just dissipates, there's not a lot of use for ether gas."

"Couldn't you create, I don't know, ether helium balloons?"

"Heh, I don't think that would be a good idea. But anyway, I need to master at least the first steps of this, or my expertise won't be much better than work my clients could put together themselves. The problem with having skilled clients is that they can do a lot of things on their own."

They were beginning to move from the kitchen to the door, but Melissa didn't want it to be over so soon. "Is there any way I can help? You know about my condition... could a void flame be converted into ether somehow? Or at least something that could give your mixtures some more oomph?"

"I'm... not sure." Lisa stopped and gave her a thoughtful look. "You definitely couldn't turn your void flame into ether, because ether is fundamentally lucrim and your void is a lack of lucrim. But the flame would have an impact on many substances, possibly altering them. The question is if it would ever have a positive impact."

"It's possible that it might! When I was training with - I've been able to use the void flame to burn away inefficient lucrim and help improve foundations."

Lisa reached out and rubbed her shoulder. "That's kind of you, Melissa, and an interesting idea. But I think at my current level of knowledge, I should absolutely not attempt anything like that. It's always possible you could be harmed in some way, and probably fairly likely that I'd hurt myself or a client."

"Aww. Well, I figured it was worth a shot."

"Melissa, are you doing okay? You seem cheerful, but it seems... well, I don't want to make assumptions about you."

"I'm doing fine." She smiled, but it took too much effort. Lisa saw right through it.

"If you say so, but I'm here if you need anything."

"I just... they haven't even explained everything... I... I just know he's..." Melissa let out a sob and felt horribly weak, but now the words were tumbling out beyond her control. "I tried to meet with them and they weren't even there. They won't even meet with me to explain anything. I just know he's gone and I have a bunch of hollow promises and there's not a thing I can do..."

She cut off in tears and Lisa immediately embraced her. Melissa took a ragged breath and tried to get herself under control, but the tears just kept coming. Eventually she gave up and leaned into the other woman. It was nothing like hugging her brother, but Lisa held her gently and stroked her back with those familiar hands. Bit by bit Melissa recovered, or maybe she just cried out everything she had.

"I... I'm sorry about that, I jus-"

"Hush." Lisa pulled her back in, squeezing tight for a moment. "You don't need to apologize. It's okay. I can't promise you that everything will turn out alright, but your brother is strong. And he loves you more than anything. If there's even a 1% possibility that he'll come back to you, he'll do it."

Strangely, those words actually got through to Melissa. She had suspicions about how Lisa felt, and Rick had been a sore topic of conversation recently, but none of that mattered now. Whatever else she was, Lisa was a good person. Melissa squeezed her back before pulling away.

Though she thanked Lisa for everything, she floated her way back in a daze. The moment of relief had allowed her to release so much pent up stress, yet it also prevented her from denying the truth. Her brother was still gone and the company refused to say when they could bring him back. She didn't even fear that he was dead, she just hated the uncertainty and missed him so much.

When she got back home, barely remembering the trip, she found herself wandering into her room. Her fingers gently slid over the goofy stuffed jackalope, the marble figurines he'd helped her piece back together, and the old plush dragon. He'd bought that dragon when they were children with lucrim chips he'd scraped together. Rick hadn't mentioned it in years and she wondered if he even remembered it. Maybe to him it wasn't anything special because helping her was just what he did.

Yet now that he was missing, there was absolutely nothing she could do to help him. Melissa stared at the objects for a long time, then closed her eyes. Next time, she told herself, it wouldn't be like this. Next time she wouldn't be helpless.