Chapter 59

Kai was walking the paved path to the estate when Elijah appeared in front of him, blocking the way, expression impenetrable.

Does he know what I’ve done?

Making use of Acting, Kai tried to behave casually. Nothing was wrong. He smirked at the pale man. “Did you miss me much?”

There was no answer. Elijah remained motionless. Kai didn’t think walking around him was an option, so he was forced to stop. His confidence crumbled as those icy blue eyes stared straight at him. At that moment, Kai understood there was no point in lying or feigning ignorance. He didn’t know how, but Elijah knew the truth already.

“I’m sorry…” Kai muttered. With his mood already beneath his feet, his mind went to the worst-case scenario. Were they going to throw him out?

“For what exactly?”

Did I just rat myself out? No, if that were the case, he wouldn’t have admitted he didn’t know what I was talking about.

Kai’s thoughts were a wreck. He didn’t have the strength to put up with Elijah’s antics. Did he have to say it out loud? What did he want from him? Maybe Elijah had a heart hidden somewhere. After a couple more seconds of stalemate, the butler broke the silence.

“What you do outside this estate is your business. That is unless you bring it here.” His gaze bore down on him. “You didn’t get caught, right?”

Was that what he wanted to know? Not why he did it or if he regretted his actions, but if he would get caught or not!

After all the exhaustion and doubts Kai had dealt with the last few days, he started laughing aloud at the absurdity of the situation. It was an empty laugh, devoid of any humor. His eyes started to tingle. He would start crying if he didn’t get a grip on himself.

“Still waiting for an answer. Did you become deaf while you were away?” Elijah’s icy tone cut into his thoughts.

Blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes, as if the wind had pushed some dust into them, Kai forced his body to regain his composure. He wasn’t going to have a breakdown in front of this jerk.

“No. I don’t think anyone will come looking for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I got a Feat that explicitly said without getting caught.”

The Assassination skill also mentioned not getting caught…

“Good. That means no one saw you and there are no obvious leads, but you shouldn’t rely on it too much. The Guide offers no insurance on long-term consequences or unexpected events.”

“Good to know. Now can I pass?” Kai asked, pointing out he was still standing in the way.

Elijah didn’t show any intention to move. “Stop sulking like a baby. If you want to keep climbing higher, it won’t be the last time you have to get your hands dirty. This time you only had to kill a wretched individual who well deserved it. No use losing sleep over him.”

Kai guessed this was Elijah’s own way to comfort him. He appreciated the effort, but his words weren’t very helpful.

He had read enough to know Elydes could be a cruel and violent place. Even on Earth, humans warred against each other for far longer than they had been at peace. Fighting and killing had been the norm for most of history. With the superhuman powers the Guide granted, and multiple races thrown into the mix, things could only be worse. However, there was a big difference between reading it in a book and living it.

Elijah rolled his eyes. “Even if you hide under a rock, there will come a time when you must choose between protecting what you hold dear and taking someone else’s life. That’s just how the world rolls. No one has ever managed to change it and idealistic fools die young.”

Kai tried to give him a nod. His words were making him feel worse.

He really sucks at this.

The pale man seemed conflicted before he sighed, exasperated. “If you really want the ability to avoid those kinds of situations you should train harder. You’ll need more than your pitiful strength. The freedom of choice is a privilege only afforded to the people with enough power.” Elijah shook his head and turned around. “You got enough holidays. I hope you didn’t skirt on your exercises, or you won’t be able to keep up. Tomorrow we’ll start at dawn. Go get settled in now.”

With that, he was gone. Kai was left alone, speechless and confused.

Lost in his thoughts, he made for his little house. The subtle tingle of mana washed over him. His body welcomed the higher mana density. It was hard to describe, breathing in the mana-rich air satisfied a thirst he hadn’t known was there.

The place was exactly as he remembered it. The white and warm tones of the buildings were as immaculate as the day he first saw them. The wind carried the sweet scent of flowers in bloom mixing with the subtle smell of the sea.

Stepping beyond the mansion, he was welcomed by a long ivory beach, crystal clear water and the pavilion where Virya liked to have her breakfast. The mistress of the estate was nowhere to be seen, though Kai didn’t doubt she knew everything already. She would call for him when she so desired.

Stepping inside the annex building that served as his lodgings, Kai laid his backpack down, unsure of what to do. There was no hint of dust on any surface of his bedroom.

He was about to jump on his bed but stopped himself. His clothes were filthy from the journey, and he stank. He didn’t want to tarnish the pristine sheets and pillow. He considered the pros and cons of flopping on the ground right there and taking a nap. Everything would be better after some sleep. Then he remembered there was one more room left, his favorite: the bathroom.

With a spring in his step, Kai stripped out of his clothes and jumped into the bathtub. A flick of a lever sent a jet of water splashing over his skin. He didn’t have to go fetch a bucket and use a wet cloth to clean himself. He didn’t have to do anything at all. He let out a sigh of contentment.

This is a true luxury.

Kai didn’t mind the cold water, he reveled in it. Words couldn’t describe how much he missed this. After most of the dirt and grime were washed away, he put in the plug to start filling the tub. It would probably be awkward to fit in there if he were an adult, but for his small figure, it was perfect. He could almost stretch his legs completely.

Kai laid still as the water level rose, unconsciously falling into a meditative state. He didn’t want to think, only enjoy the moment before he had to face his demons once again.

The water reached his ears and then over his head. He didn’t move a muscle. Keeping his breath for a few minutes wasn’t even a bother anymore. His eyes closed and his body relaxed, weightless and peaceful.

It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.

When he reopened his eyes, the bathtub was about to overflow. He hurried to turn off the water, spilling a small wave on the floor. Standing up to lower the water level, Kai took out the plug and started scrubbing his body with a rough piece of soap.

After he was cleaner than he had ever been in the last two months, he donned one of his remaining pairs of clothes and let himself fall on his bed. His head sank into the puffy pillow. The sensation of cleanliness was another one of the things he missed. If only he could scrub away his problems too. After twenty minutes, it became clear sleep wasn’t coming. Intrusive thoughts broke his peace every time he was about to drift off.

Enough moping around.

Tossing and turning in bed would only lead him to darker places. With no better option, he started unpacking. A few leftover rations, clothes that needed a good wash, the volumes from his father’s collection he decided to bring and the alchemy chest. He should probably give that back to Dora.

It would be nice to have the cheerful alchemist around again.

What is she going to think about me? If Elijah knows, she must too…

It wasn’t surprising that the annoying butler didn’t seem to care about the killing. Kai kind of expected that. Dora was different. Would she watch him with disappointment, or worse, disgust?

He tried to make himself busy by putting things in order, arranging his books on a shelf over his bed and washing his clothing. Eventually, the alchemy chest was the only thing that remained.

I’ll need to say hi to her eventually…

His worst-case scenarios were unlikely, probably she wouldn’t say anything. What he feared was that she would not look at him the same. There were still a few hours of light. He could maybe postpone it to tomorrow, hide in his house for the day, but then what? Better to rip the band-aid off than stew in his thoughts.

He forced his legs to carry him across the beach to her house. With each step, his heart beat faster, his guts wrenched and his palms started sweating. If he wasn’t carrying the alchemy chest, his hands might have started shaking too.

The lush garden appeared around him, but he couldn’t appreciate its beauty. He scanned back and forth looking for the familiar figure of the plump woman.

“In here.” Unsurprisingly, she was the first to notice him, her voice coming from inside.

Too late to back down now.

Following the sound of her voice, Kai reached the kitchen. Dora was busy stirring a pot, giving him her shoulders. Before he could say a word, she turned around with a plate filled with steaming food.

“Put that down and sit.” She smiled brightly. “You must be famished after your journey.”

Kai put down the chest and sat at the table. The pile of food smelled delicious, but he felt no appetite. He could feel Dora’s gaze on him, and he couldn’t bear to look back.

Using Acting as a crutch, he took the fork and tried to swallow a few bites.

“Have you already eaten? Or would you like me to prepare something else?”

Slowly raising his eyes, Dora’s worried expression met him. Kai wanted to tell her he was doing okay, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. He tried to push it down, but his body betrayed him. Big tears started streaming down his eyes.

“Oh, dear…” Dora said, stepping closer. “Everything is going to be fine.”

Before he could stop himself, Kai was crying on her shoulder. As she tried to comfort him, he felt so pathetic.

“You did the right thing, sweetheart. The only thing you could. Sometimes we don’t have a choice if we want to protect the people we love.”

He didn’t know if she was saying it only to make him feel better, or if she truly believed it.

After he shed all his tears, Kai started feeling a bit better. The food had gotten cold, but his stomach didn’t care. He was famished, and ate every bit of it.

He hadn’t missed how Dora knew exactly what happened. He was curious, but he did not wish to bring that topic up. They instead started talking about alchemy. In moments they fell into a deep discussion. Kai took out his notebooks and started explaining all he had learned and experimented with during his stay in Greenside.

It was the perfect distraction. He had written down dozens of questions and it was incredibly nice finally having someone to solve dilemmas that had frustrated him for weeks. After a while, they moved to the lab, so Dora could show him directly how to solve some of those problems. Kai enjoyed all the praise he received for his progress in Alchemy. He didn’t get many points in Mana Manipulation, but his improvements were noteworthy.

Only after the sun had been set for a while, did he leave Dora’s house with his stomach full and a lighter heart. Dark thoughts hovered in the back of his mind, but not everything was cast in gloom.

This time, Kai fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

Elydes will continue in Book Two: Tides of Change!