So, to be very clear, we focus on the estate, we trick it out, then we spread the effects out to the entire world?” Matt asked.

“Something like that. Obviously, this is going to take some doing, but if I’m reading everything correctly, yes,” Lucy said.

“And the system will just let us do this?” Something in Matt’s tone told Lucy that he still didn’t believe her.

At this point, both Matt and Lucy were sitting down in the dirt, plotting in a very literal sense. They sketched out what they could potentially grow on the land they currently controlled if they sacrificed actual lodgings in favor of more room for agriculture. It turned out that they had to have a house of some kind before they could build anything else, but they could get away with a tiny hut in the corner of the property. They named the rest of the estate “The Imperial Gardens.”

“Matt, I have no idea. It’s entirely possible that the system has some loophole I haven’t seen before where it can nuke us from space for growing cucumbers. But as far as I know, this is entirely within the rules.”

Being technically right was probably about as safe as they could get. The system wasn’t likely to stop coming after them in any case either, so they were likely in some danger, no matter what they did.

Might as well go big. Get ready for radishes, you dick-in-a-screen bastard.

“Got it. I can’t say I’m excited to do more dungeons, but I guess, I’m down.”

“It’s necessary. In a normal world, there might be other ways you could get the credits. But even then, it wouldn’t be as efficient as just doing dungeons and taking them as drops. We could normally count on some from system achievements, but …”

“It’s trying to gank me?”

“That’s one way of putting it, yes.” Lucy stood up and brushed herself off. “Go get some of that sleep you are so fond of, human. Your loyal guardian servant will stay up and plot out the most efficient course, and we can leave in the morning.”

It turned out that being a continental emperor came with its own benefits. One of them was pages and pages of new menu screens that Matt could browse through. He didn’t have the resources to really use them yet, but someday, they’d probably come in handy.

One of these screens was a map of dungeons. According to Lucy, it didn’t mean much since the dungeons mostly ran themselves and their dungeon system was demonstrably touchy about anyone messing with its turf.

But it was still a map of dungeons, one that allowed them to create a sort of speedrun loop across dozens of nearby dungeons. They could only guess at the levels of each dungeon, but reaching dozens would be good odds.

“This is stupid, Matt.”

“Yup. I’m doing it anyway.”

Matt was about to set foot in another Clownrat dungeon. Despite the dungeon having a higher level than the previous ones, he knew it was going to be a perfect therapy session for him.

Dungeon Customization Found

In a previous run with similar foes, you chose to allow the dungeon to make certain alterations or customizations to your enemies to suit your preferences. If you like, the same customizations may be carried over to this dungeon.

Note that the difficulty of the dungeon will remain unchanged, as will any potential rewards.

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

After the Bonecat and subsequent moles, the dungeon-generated monsters were a never-ending carousel of escaping horrors. At this point, Matt had become desensitized to lower-grade fears. The first time he had danced with Clownrats, Matt was a dungeon-baby. Now he had become a dungeon-man, complete with armor and improved stats. It was time to let his past know who was boss.

“These … are abominations, Matt. I have no idea why you made these. I don’t even care if they are weak. They are the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen, and why would you willingly fight them? Why even think of them? This is truly horrifying.”

“I told you about these before.”

“You did NOT do a good job. Do not pursue a career in communications, Matt. You … you really aren’t suited for it.”

Matt had, in a rare departure from his norm, decided not to use traps in this dungeon. It was a decision he had made before learning that the dungeon’s level was around level five. But he was sticking to his guns, even with the knowledge that the four or five Clownrat groups had been replaced with twenty-member mega-packs. And he stubbornly kept to his decision when he learned that he had, up to this point, never seen an adult male Clownrat.

He immediately dubbed the boss monster as King Clown. It was massive, easily bigger than a Great Dane and looked several times as mean.

Lucy thought it was a bad idea to charge in with nothing but a knife, a torch, and plenty of unresolved emotions. Matt didn’t think so.

First, the group was stationary. If the dungeon before was simulating a bunch of foraging packs seeking food, it was now content to have the rats stay together in one big clump. They pretty much never left the clearing, leaving little room for traps. Second, even with the combined herd and new boss monster, the dungeon’s difficulty was still at level five. Matt trusted that his improved stats and skills could handle it. He was less than eager to get caught off guard and be forced into hand-to-hand combat without experience. He wanted the practice.

But most importantly, he was pissed. Those Clownrats weren’t going to know what hit them.

For the most part, Matt was right. Most of the Clownrats didn’t know what hit them. He was one hundred percent right about being able to take down a regular Clownrat and even the mother Clownrats didn’t give him much trouble. He managed to evade King Clown throughout his slaughter, saving it for last.

This, however, turned out to be a mistake. King Clown was in no mood for messing around, and it was furious.

Secret Objective Discovered: Rage-Rat Rampage

You have heartlessly slaughtered every living relative of an alpha male rat as it stood by, helpless to stop you. One little known biological quirk of the Gaian forest rats is that they are capable of getting angry enough to overdrive their hearts, giving them a burst of strength and speed far exceeding the norm.

The dungeon has been scanning records of your home planet to better serve you, and can compare this to a mother experiencing a burst of adrenaline and suddenly being able to lift an entire car off her child. It’s not a good situation for you, but honestly, you were kind of asking for it.

Rewards: Increased reward quality

I deserve everything you just said, Matt thought. But I think the trees are a little much.

The dungeon was spot on about the strength and speed of the enraged King Clown. But it had neglected to mention that the attribute increases gave the rat a new vertical dimension. Not only was it faster over flat land, it also climbed the trees for flying leaps. It would catapult teeth-first at Matt, and in the times when it landed the hit, kick off Matt’s body to return back into the trees before Matt could retaliate.

The reinforced Survivor’s garb was proving vital to Matt’s continued survival, turning bites that should have been fatal into merely severe puncture wounds that only slowed him down. In the last ten minutes, he had picked up a dozen rat bites and was beginning to hate every aspect of his life and decision-making process.

With a mighty bang, King Clown slammed into Matt again, missing with its teeth but managing to push Matt off-balance. As he nearly flew back into the trees, Matt’s toe caught on a stone about twice the size of a grapefruit, tripping him and sending him crashing to the ground. He had briefly considered chucking rocks at the damn thing to slow it down, but every stone he had seen during his run was this big or bigger. They were too large for a human to throw, no matter how scared Matt was.

Or they were too big, Matt thought, Survivor’s Instincts pinging hard in the back of his mind. I do have ten strength now.

Matt stood, hefting the rock in his hand as he did. It didn’t feel light, but he was able to lift it pretty easily. On Earth, nobody got jacked on accident. It was a long and slow process, one that took a lot of effort and suffering. But on Gaia, apparently Matt had gotten strong without realizing it. As the rat stood on the trunk of the tree and readied itself for another launch, Matt threw the stone sidearm at it. The monster and the stone met midair with a crack of rock and skull that echoed through the trees.

The rock and the rat both neatly negated each other’s momentum, falling nearly straight down to the ground. Matt waited patiently for the system’s ding, and turned around to look for the plinth. When the plinth failed to show, he brought up the notification, confused.

Secret Objective Discovered: Rage-Rat Rampage Redux

You are really, really pissing this rat off …

Matt immediately stopped reading the notification, wheeling around and jerking back in one motion, just barely fast enough to keep the teeth from clacking straight through his neck. The rat didn’t even have to jump to attempt to behead him now. It had grown. Little slits littered its body as its muscles swelled up, and it stretched to the size of a small horse.

As it stood in front of Matt in all its sweaty, bloody, overmuscled Shetland clown glory, it opened its mouth and screamed. From only a foot or so away, it sprayed Matt with spit, blood, and the worst-smelling breath he had ever encountered.

Well, fuck, Matt thought, before he turned tail and ran for his life. Running beside him, Lucy had fully lost her shit.

“Kill it! Kill it! This is your fault! Do you know what you smell like? Even I can smell you. What are you doing? I told you this would happen, Matt!”

“I’m trying! I really am!”

Matt eked out every bit of strength, stamina, and dexterity he could muster to blaze through the forest far faster than he had suspected he could move. If I survive this, he thought, it would turn out to be a great shakedown run for my new stats. But any thought of surviving this encounter easily evaporated when the forest hill he was running up suddenly gave way to a natural rock ledge, a trick of erosion now stood in his way. King Clown was not far behind him, much too close to give him time to go over or around the obstruction.

He regripped his knife with his sweaty palm, waiting for the rat. His heart was pounding, and every bit of Survivor’s Instincts in him was telling him to run. The rat approached slowly and cautiously, eating up the distance between them with jerky, well-considered steps. Finally, it was in striking distance. The rat’s eyes locked with Matt’s. Only one of them would leave alive.

And then the thing fell over. Just up and fell over, like a fainting goat.

Ding!

Dungeon Achievement Gained: [Rage-Rat Rampage Redux ’Rythmia]

The rat’s rage was powerful, and pushed its body to the very limit of its vibrant rodent biology. You managed to win by being able to run fast and far, and the rat’s heart couldn’t keep up. Congratulations! You are now considered to be a minor but extant cause of cardiac arrest.

Rewards: None