Chapter 56

The following week passed in a daze. Scorio went through the motions. Ran at a slow jog, letting everyone lap him. Ate mechanically. Sparred with just enough proficiency to keep Feng from calling him out. During his classes he sat at the back, sunk deep in his seat, staring at the instructors but not hearing a thing.

Leonis and Lianshi were dogged in staying by his side. They tried different tactics: respecting his silence and trying to cheer him up indirectly; engaging in serious conversation about his predicament, brainstorming his best options; or just being silent and letting him know they were there. Eventually, they started giving him space, keeping close enough that he knew they were there, but no longer trying to jolt him out of his deep reverie.

And he was grateful. He just had trouble expressing it. He had trouble doing much of anything beyond drifting from one obligation to the next. House Chimera sent him a summons to come and sign his official paperwork, and he begged off, sending one excuse after another till he knew he was coming dangerously close to upsetting them. The other students eyed him warily, unable to understand why he was so morose when to all appearances he’d scored an incredible victory.

He lay awake late at night in his small room, fingers interlaced under his head, staring up into the darkness. Replayed his choices since he’d awoken in the Gauntlet, tried to tease out the moments where he could have shifted his fate with a different decision.

But each time it came down to his willingness to work for Dola. He spun up a hundred different excuses. He’d been hungry, alone, desperate, and broke. He’d had no friends, no means of providing for himself, and any misstep would have seen him brought to Praximar’s attention and consequent death.

But did desperation justify his theft? Had he truly been without options? Or had he been all too glad to strike back at the world that had treated him unfairly, been all too willing to give vent to his fury and bitterness?

In those long, dark hours of the night, he wrestled with his conscience. What should he do? At times he felt like simply giving up. Letting go of his determination to accumulate power, to discover the truth, to fight the injustices that had plagued him so. To fade away, drift into the shadows, and cease to be a player in the great game. But then he’d envision Praximar’s gloating face, his slight, smug smile, and sparks of fury would light up once more in his core.

Naomi didn’t show. Scorio kept watching for her, keeping an eye on the shadows, waiting, half-hoping, that she’d emerge at any moment with a caustic scowl on her face, ready to return and be part of their team, having changed her mind about the Academy and the ruins. But she never did.

It was Fifthday when he found himself standing outside the Chimera suite. He blinked, looked around. He’d walked there in a fugue, not knowing what he was doing till he’d seen the crest emblazoned upon the double doors.

What was he doing there? He’d miss lunch. He was wasting his time. He couldn’t sign the documents, for what was the point? To score a couple of pills before Praximar wrought his revenge?

Footsteps behind him. Scorio startled, turned, and saw Recruiter Gelegos walking up to him, a partially unrolled scroll in his hands, lips turned into a severe frown as he studied its contents.

Scorio froze, wishing he could step away, wondering if the recruiter were sufficiently distracted for him to do so, but then the man glanced up, the light flashing across his spectacles, and saw him.

“Ah! Our missing recruit! Your odd reluctance has been driving Selena mad.” He stopped before Scorio, smiling affably. “She’s convinced you’re being recruited by House Kraken behind our back. It’s taken all my efforts to keep her from hunting you down and confronting you.”

“I—thank you.” Scorio felt dull and stupid before Gelegos’s probing stare. Why had he come? “I’m, ah, not being recruited by anyone else.”

“So I thought. Come, no need to talk outside in the hallway.” And Gelegos stepped past him to open the door and disappear inside.

Scorio stared down the hallway, longing to just run, but then sighed and followed the man inside.

Gelegos led him across the expansive room, and for a moment Scorio thought they were heading back to the same conference chamber. Instead, the recruiter turned to the left at the last moment and entered a secluded spot, ringed on all sides by towering ferns and artfully arranged partitions of painted silk.

“Here we are,” said Gelegos, falling back gratefully onto a cushioned chair and propping his feet up on the round, central table. “Take a seat, Scorio. You look exhausted. A drink?”

“No, thank you.” Scorio sat on the edge of a stool and interlaced his fingers tightly.

Gelegos tilted his head to one side as he considered him. “Problems, hmm? Second thoughts? A fear, perhaps, that House Chimera will use you poorly, harness you to its needs, and then discard you if you object?”

“I—no. That’s not it at all.” Scorio stared down at his hands. “I’m still greatly honored by the offer. You know best of all what a wreck my Heart is. House Chimera’s offer was the lifeline I was praying for.”

“Then I grow all the more curious. I have before me a talented, improbably successful Cinder who clearly yearns for greatness. Yet you hesitate to the point of placing your sponsorship in jeopardy.” Gelegos paused, considering him. “Something has happened since last we spoke. A previous obligation? A debt that you must repay?”

“Something like that,” said Scorio, and the tangled knot in his heart undid itself, and he looked up at last to meet the recruiter’s eyes. “But I can’t accept the sponsorship. I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline.”

“Yes, I thought you might.” Gelegos’s bemused smile didn’t quite touch his pale eyes, which studied Scorio thoughtfully. “May I ask why? Selena will tear my head off if I don’t.”

“I… you know that I spent some time in the ruins before being accepted back into the Academy,” began Scorio. Gelegos nodded, so he continued. “During that time, I briefly joined a criminal organization that targeted shipments coming into Bastion. I helped them with one job. I helped them steal a small crate containing Sapphire mana from House Chimera. House guards were injured in our escape, and I’ve since learned that some of them may have died.”

Scorio stared with bleak fear at the affable recruiter, who had gone perfectly still.

“I can only apologize,” he continued, dropping his gaze. “I won’t make excuses for my deed, but I also cannot accept House Chimera’s sponsorship. I’m sorry.”

“I… see.” Gelegos’s tone had become pensive. “I remember that raid. It was audacious as it was sloppy. Notable for being led by a rogue Great Soul who used various treasures to avoid pursuit.”

Scorio gripped his hands together even tighter. “I of course understand if you wish to press charges, and won’t lie to protect myself.”

The silence between them drew out, long and aching, and Scorio felt his brow prickle with sweat. He couldn’t look up, however. Just sat there, feeling miserable yet also lighter, as if a huge burden had at last fallen from his shoulders.

“I admire your honesty, Scorio, even if it clashes rather violently with your past behaviors. And in truth, I suspected the Great Soul in question was you. The time frame was just right, and the criminal’s description roughly matched your own.”

“You did?” Scorio’s gaze flicked up. “And you still made the offer?”

Gelegos’s smile grew pained. “We suspected, but deliberately did not make concrete inquiries, because as long as we had no proof, we could proceed with recruiting you. Now, however, with this confession, we have no choice but to withdraw our offer.”

“Wait,” said Scorio. “You thought it was me, but were still willing to offer your patronage?”

“Life is complicated,” said Gelegos. “But here is how I saw it: you were alone, confused, and ignorant. A man’s greatest instinct is survival, and with your being thrust through the Final Door within minutes of reincarnating, who is to fault you for doing what you could to survive? Now, if you had remained part of that criminal organization, had found it to your liking, that would be a different matter, but I found it particularly noteworthy that you only took part in one raid. After that, you went to ground. Had you died? Escaped to the Plains? I didn’t know. But the next we heard of you was when you helped save all of Bastion from Imogen the Woe. Quite the about-face, wouldn’t you say? You then proceeded to prove yourself competitive against your cohort, all of whom had benefited from elite training and resources from which you’d been deprived. I found it very impressive.”

Scorio gaped at the man. “Is that how Selena sees it? Wrack?”

“No. That is my own view, and why I held my tongue. They will be far less charitable than I. So, alas, we are done.”

“Yeah,” said Scorio, and realized that they were. Just like that, House Chimera’s invitation had evaporated in his hands. It was gone. He’d never get the Apotheosis pills, the Peaceful Wheel, and Thousand Step pills. All that healing, all those resources, the private classes, the confidential instruction, all… gone.

“Look, for what it’s worth, I think even better of you than I did before,” said Gelegos. “Which, unfortunately, is worth next to nothing. But you have a tremendous Heart, Scorio. If you don’t destroy it in your quest for power, it will take you far. It’s incredibly reactive, naturally deep, and has withstood the punishment you’ve given it thus far. I can’t guess what your plans are, but I will tell you this: whatever your gamble, make sure part of the payoff includes the ability to heal back the damage you’re about to do to yourself.”

Scorio blinked. “You’re not going to tell me to be careful?”

“You?” Gelegos chuckled and sat back. “Knowing your past, and having made discrete inquiries into your deeper history? Not at all. Would be a waste of my breath. But just as you wagered everything on impressing House Chimera so that we would heal your damage, make sure your next bet is as savvy.”

“Understood,” said Scorio, rising to his feet. “Will you please give the others my apologies and regrets?”

“Sure,” said Gelegos, standing as well. “Good luck, Scorio.”

“Thank you.” He hesitated, then turned and strode out of the large room, past the fountains and altars, the secluded meditation spots, and the communal table at whose length he would never now sit.

Out the double doors, and there to lean against the hallway corridor as the strength momentarily left him.

Scorio closed his eyes and breathed deeply. It felt as if he couldn’t get enough air. But, after a few moments, he mastered himself and pushed back to standing.

Praximar no longer had any leverage on him. He’d lost House Chimera, true, but the playing field was now even.

It was on him to figure out his next step, and a way to defeat Jova Spike in the final Gauntlet run.

Too bad he couldn’t think of a single thing.