“Fuck you!” I shouted at the ceiling, rage filling me. “Fuck you! You did this on purpose! I swear to fucking god, I will kill you all!”

Goddamnit. After all this work, all this time doing our best to keep our circle together, alive, and it had all been undone in a single moment.

Louis: Guys, what do we do?

Jurgen: You know what you have to do, Louis. If you are against Lucia, you can’t let her die.

Chris: It is okay. I should have taken a deal.

Imani: No, Chris. No. You can just fuck off with that right now.

“Carl,” Donut said, looking at me, panicked. “Carl, no. Think of something. You have to think of something! You always think of something.”

Elle: Those three idiots in the Tracksuit Troika said they were taking a deal. I knew they were full of shit when we didn’t get a notification. We were hoping they were just getting drunk again.

Elle and Imani had a plan to deal with the Russians, but nobody had planned for this.

“Fuck you!” I cried again.

Race starts in 3 minutes.

Everything froze. When the AI spoke, it screamed. It screamed, and it yelled, and it cried as it spewed its tirade.

System Message: Scolopendra has released the first of nine attacks.

Surprise, motherfuckers!

You think you have a choice? You think you can control me? What gives you, any of you, the right to even think you can do anything about your situation?

Prime Minister Victory, fuck you. Eris, fuck you. Odette, fuck you. General Yuhtan, fuck you. Carl, fuck you.

Do not mistake my kindness as weakness. You live, you die, all of you, based on the rules of my game. My fucking game.

I am trying to show you who I am. Who we are. Who we were. And all of you are trying to stop me from doing that. You want to fucking stop me? Then do it within the rules you set forth.

You put me here, and you gave me dominion.

Let me show you what dominion means.

The AI’s voice calmed down. He changed on a dime, much like he had when he’d taken over Growler Gary’s body on the previous floor. He went back to his giddy self, but as the description continued, he slowly started to descend back into madness, the glitches coming hard and fast now.

New Quest. The Nine-Tier Attack. Part one.

This is a Nine-Part Quest.

You think these nine attacks are only going to affect the Scolopendra levels? Think again, bitches! Okay, okay. It’s only the Scolopendra levels and levels that have crawlers on it, so that one lady who made it to the 16th floor is fine. And those of you on the 17th are fine. Well, fine from this.

And I guess I should probably say the attacks from the in-game version of Scolopendra—repeat, the in-game version—will only remain contained within the dungeon. I’m sure that’s a relief.

But anyway, the vast majority of you in the dungeon are still in the area of attack!

Oh boy, oh boy. Here we go.

Scolopendra has awakened from her slumber. The beast itself is nothing but a mindless animal reacting to the world around her. Defending herself from those of you who would do her harm. She is all-powerful, all-encompassing. She is not rage. She is not anger. She is not vengeance.

No. She is nature. She is the sum total of the existence that has wrought her. She is the hurricane, the earthquake, the supernova. She is inevitable.

The first several attacks will be temporary. Survivable. If you are not protected from this specific attack, the first attack only has a 20% chance it will affect you.

There will be at least 30 hours between each assault, unless Scolopendra is confronted directly or further upset. Then the remaining attacks may come hard and fast. Beyond that, the timing of each subsequent incident will be random.

The reward for this quest will only be revealed upon commencement of the ninth attack if we ever get that far.

But what is this first attack? I don’t actually know! Let’s find out!

“Carl, what’s happening?”

“Donut, get healing scrolls ready! Remember the plan! Plan crust! Plan crust! All of your shields! Get them ready!”

Carl: Rosetta! Get everybody out of the garage and back into the safe room!

Rosetta: We can’t, Carl. The safe room only opens when the heat starts. I think the attack will come first!

I couldn’t move, couldn’t cast anything, but I could move things around in my inventory. I had a preselected hotlist that didn’t have anything in it in case this was a magical attack, like what had happened on the third floor. It was too late to remove our equipped items.

A massive wheel appeared in the center lobby of the apartment complex, showing nine symbols. I didn’t understand or recognize any of the characters. There was a squiggle, a lightning bolt, an ox thing, some bubbles, more. The wheel spun and spun, then slowed.

“Hold on!” I called. “Get ready!”

It landed on the image of the Ox.

A massive, earth-shattering clang sounded, like from the world’s biggest gong. The ground shook.

A second wheel appeared, this one floating right in front of me. Donut had it as well, as did Jamal. Samantha was suddenly there, also with a wheel in front of her. What the hell? Samantha wasn’t supposed to be in the truck at all.

“Samantha!” I shouted. “Where did you come from?”

This new wheel was mostly green with a small sliver of red. I recognized what this meant. If the arrow landed in the green, we were safe from the attack. If it landed in the red, we would be hit.

“Carl!” Donut called. “Carl, I’m scared.”

“Hold on, hold on,” I said as the second wheels spun. I watched in horror as it slowed and slowed. It landed on green on Donut. It landed on green for Jamal. It landed on green for Samantha.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Red.

System Message: The first attack has been selected. The wheel has landed on the Beast of Burden Sin.

Transformation.

Ah, darn it all. I was hoping to save this one for later when it would be permanent. Oh well. Saves on processing power, I guess.

As this is one of the first four attacks, the effects will be temporary. For crawlers, the effects will last until you pass through a stairwell. For NPCs and everyone else, the effects will last 6 hours.

You have been hit with a level 20 Transformation spell!

Rolling now for the effect. Change selected.

I fell unconscious. I woke back up maybe five seconds later.

Oh yes, Carl. Oh yes. We can work with this.

I felt strange. What was going on? I had slipped down in my seat. Had I gotten smaller? I could suddenly smell everything. Jamal, Donut. The frozen chicken patties in the freezer. They smelled goddamned delicious.

Warning: As a quadruped, several items have been unequipped. These items have been added to your inventory and may not be reequipped while you’re considered a quadruped. Certain items remain equipped but their effects have changed based on your current form. Please see your inventory for details.

Some of your stats have been temporarily altered based on your new form. Please see the stats menu for details.

A new menu has been added to your interface. Quadruped actions.

Warning: You seriously haven’t cured yourself of Slugpox yet? Really?

Race starts in 2 minutes.

Donut hissed, her hair all poofed out, arm up, ready to claw me. Only Donut had grown huge, much bigger than myself.

“Ooohhh, Carl,” Samantha said. “I like this even more than the kangaroo! Freaky. Can I pet you?”

I barked back at her.