Imani: It went smoothly. Your cleaner bot could only fit forty people, but the one from Bobby Montague, the Illusionist guy with the tall hair, managed to fit 105. The total number sent to the Pineapple Cabaret is 227, not including Na. Zhang, Tran, Daniel, Archie, Randall 3. All gone. All cleaner bots were purchased immediately.

Mordecai: Cactus remains steady, glowing with a single bloom. Also, that one druid, Ronit, managed to figure out an improvement on the dread system. She assigned everyone a small plant. I had to build a large glass terrarium for them all because some of the sluggalos were starting to eye them. It’s two-hundred-something different, small potted plants, each tied to the life of a different crawler. The plants are now on display in the guildhall common room, protected under glass.

Donut: WE’RE CALLING IT THE GARDEN OF DELIVERANCE.

Mordecai: That’s right. Li Na’s dread cactus is the only one with the complicated messaging system. These are much simpler. If the plants wilt or disappear into dust, it means the associated crawler is dead. If flowers bloom, it means they’re out of the dungeon. It means they escaped. It’s the only way we’ll know. Even the showrunners can’t see what’s going on in there.

Elle: That’s not anxiety-inducing or anything. Everyone, be safe.

Carl: Okay. See you at the finish line.

Imani: Don’t you dare die this heat. All of it will be for nothing if you don’t make it through this next race.

We pulled up to the starting line. Pontiff sat in the driver’s seat, Donut sat upon Dorota, and I sat just between them and behind in one of the chairs we’d used for the last race. It still had bloodstains all over it, and the smell reminded me of Dong Quixote.

I took a deep breath and just let myself be for a second. I hadn’t meant for the confrontation with Linus to have gotten so intense. Everyone thought the whole thing was a big joke, but I’d been rattled by it because I’d been one of the last ones to notice there was something fishy about the guy, especially when I prided myself on being so self-aware.

If he could slip in, who else, what else was out there waiting to pounce? Not every outside attempt on our lives would be so clumsy. The AI had stopped Harbinger in his tracks. It hadn’t even bothered with the Linus thing because we clearly knew. But what about other threats on top of the dungeon challenges themselves?

Despite what I’d said, we still had some internal crawler strife. Osvaldo was a good example. And what about Agatha? I hoped she was dead, but she’d pretty much just disappeared. And her existence, just out there somewhere, made me ridiculously nervous.

We had one more mercenary in the back, sitting on the second chair. This was a rare Zebani, a blue-skinned humanoid. This was a woman named Nester, and she was a level 65 Cartographer. We’d picked her because she came with both gravity spells and a radar skill.

Her existence reminded me of something I couldn’t get out of my mind. That now-dead crawler Burcu had accused me of killing her father. I was assuming her dad had been a crawler named Emir, who was also a Zebani.

Just another mystery, a reminder of how fractured we still were, despite our best efforts.

We were all lined up side by side, with us in the first block. Osvaldo and Filipe pulled up next to us astride Bruna. Whatever upgrade they’d gotten this last race, it wasn’t obvious. Osvaldo still hadn’t responded to my last message about his plans. Just past him was team Free Love’s van, and after that was Dwight, who sat alone in his vine.

“Carl, the stupid unicorn has a debuff,” Donut said. “He’s drunk again! How did he even get to the starting line? What is his plan? He’s not going to be allowed to drive!”

I grunted with amusement. “Good.”

“That’s what he did last time, and look what happened!”

“What happened?” Pontiff asked from the driver’s seat. His massive horns, thankfully, curved forward somewhat, but even with the seat all the way back, they still pressed against the windshield.

“He cheated. That’s what happened,” Donut said. “He skipped the whole race and went to the finish line on the outside.”

“Clever,” Pontiff rumbled. “If he was clever before, he will be clever again. Maybe.”

“Where are we anyway?” Donut asked. “It looks like we’re inside a 1950s version of the future. Why is everything chrome and shiny? The floor is bouncy, too.”

The starting blocks appeared to be some sort of thin metallic material. We’d driven out of the garage and turned the corner, and now we were in a huge dark box with a light ahead of us.

It was Louis who figured out what this actually was.

Louis: Anybody else’s starting block inside of a giant AC duct?

Prepotente: The message warned that we would be shrunken down. I, too, am inside a duct.

Florin: We’re in what appears to be a sewer pipe of some sort. It is very tight in here. We’re lined up one by one.

Louis: It’s just like in Ant-Man!

Prepotente: The real question is how physics will act. Will we react like we’re small, or is everything going to act like it’s very big? My mass feels like normal, so I suspect the latter. So be careful with falls.

Louis: I think we’re like the size of a lego.

Prepotente: The width of a standard LEGO^® brick is 15.6 millimeters. I would guess we’re slightly larger, but that’s a very good estimate.

Louis: How did you type the registered-mark thing?

Donut: AND WHY?

Elle: I think we’re inside of a goddamned waterless shitter lined up like turds. We can kinda see the room above us. Whoever lives here really likes pink. We gotta get out of here straight from the get-go.

Prepotente: I am also in a very pink place.

Donut: OUR ROOM DOESN’T LOOK PINK FROM HERE, BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL.

Prepotente: If this is all heats at once, it’s likely we will be in multiple apartments.

There was a flash, and a small holographic figure appeared on the dash, sitting with her legs dangling over the edge. The tiny hologram was a familiar human woman wearing a pantsuit with large red glasses. When she spoke, the words still appeared like a system notification.

This was Dr. Metcalf. They’d made her look just like Bea’s therapist. The resemblance was eerie, all the way down to the red glasses.

New details are now available. We’re on the 7th floor of the L’Engle Building, apartment 712. The finish line is the lobby. There are no designated tracks. There are a few paths to the next floor down. The fastest appears to be the elevator shaft, but the elevator says it’s out of order and stuck between the fifth and six floors. There’re also the stairwell, the sewer pipes, and a lot of paths inside the walls.

“What about mobs?” I asked the hologram, who disappeared and then reappeared on my shoulder.

Your freezer is running too cold. Also, I don’t have any information on any mobs or potential quests. The new diagnostics and software to run the holograms actually make my processing slower than before.

“I don’t like the way she’s looking at me,” Dorota said, tightening the straps around Donut.

Our fan-voted upgrade was a GPS “improvement.” But it was mostly an aesthetic one. The unit was not upgraded in any real way other than the addition of the hologram and the ability for the unit to interface with diagnostic reports on various “nonessential” systems of the truck, such as the kitchen and air-conditioning. It was a complete waste of a prize.

Donut: CARL, THAT’S HER! I KNEW IT! I’D RECOGNIZE THOSE GLASSES ANYWHERE. IT REALLY IS MISS BEATRICE’S THERAPIST!

Carl: How do you even know what she looks like?

Donut: MISS BEATRICE BROUGHT ME TO A SESSION ONCE SO THEY COULD PUT ME IN A CLEANSING CRYSTAL CIRCLE. IT WAS BEFORE THE PUSSY WILLOW CAT CLUB REGIONAL QUALIFIER IN PORTLAND.

Carl: What? She took you to her therapist’s office? Bea never told me that.

Donut: SHE USED YOUR CREDIT CARD TO PAY THE EXTRA CHAKRA FEE. AND THE CRYSTAL CLEANSING RITUAL FEE. IT WAS LIKE $800. REALLY, CARL. YOU SHOULD’VE PAID BETTER ATTENTION TO YOUR FINANCES. AND ME. I SMELLED LIKE FRAKENCENSE FOR A MONTH AFTERWARD, AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE.

Carl: That is absolutely not true. I would’ve noticed an $800 charge to Bea’s therapist on my . . . You know what? It doesn’t matter. Nothing has changed other than some damage-control monitoring or something. It’s just an aesthetic thing, not a real upgrade.

The hologram turned to a giant human-sized head, Samantha-style, floating over the dash. We all jumped. Pontiff let out a surprised grunt, and blue-skinned Nester muttered, “What the hells?”

I see your eyes flashing. You’re talking about me, aren’t you? I can talk about you, too. How’d you like that?

“Do not worry, Princess,” Dorota said. “I’ll protect you from the obviously senile—” Dorota’s voice abruptly cut off. The straps around Donut loosened.

“Hey!” Donut said. “What happened? Dorota is broken!”

Dr. Metcalf disappeared and reappeared, back to the small hologram.

I just initiated Dorota’s diagnostics mode. I think she might be defective. I fear she’ll be out of commission for a few hours.

“Goddamnit,” I said. “Look, I’m sorry we didn’t upgrade you properly. We were lucky to have survived the last race at all. I know the chair is annoying. But can you please turn it on? The seat belt feature is important.”

Fine. But I’m keeping her ability to speak turned off.

“You can do that?” I asked. Maybe it wasn’t such a useless upgrade after all.

Osvaldo: We’re going to try to drop down the elevator shaft. We’ll need someone to get through the door and then drop through the elevator. You got that Hole spell, right? Couple other friends are meeting in the hallway. You in?

Carl: Maybe. We’re still trying to figure out the best path. Look, man, have you seen my previous messages?

Osvaldo: Yeah, I saw ’em. You and me, we’re working together, but we ain’t friends. My game guide told me not to ever bother taking a deal on the tenth floor, no matter what. It’s better to die. And everything I’ve heard and seen backs that shit up. Filipe and I will take our chances.

I exchanged a look with Donut. The elevator shaft seemed like an obvious trap.

Donut: YOU’RE BEING STUPID. YOU WILL DIE IF YOU GO TO THE SEVENTH HEAT.

Osvaldo: Only if I come in last place.

“You goddamn bullheaded idiot,” I muttered.

“Hey,” Pontiff said.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“What’re we going to do?” Donut asked.

“Let’s get through this one, and we’ll lean on him to take a deal when this is over.”

I turned in the seat, addressing Nester. “Okay. Here’s the plan. The second we’re in the room, do your thing. Any sort of empty space, just call it out. Got it?”

The woman nodded. She would use her radar skill to search for hidden passages, conduits, and so forth in the walls and, more importantly, on the floor.

I triple-checked my inventory. I had the sticky explosives stacked and properly labeled so I wouldn’t have to think about where I’d left them.

Dr. Metcalf reappeared.

A last-minute rule has just been announced. There are seven floors in this building. Every apartment has a ring hidden within. You must drive through seven rings, one on each floor, before you are allowed to pass the finish line. Each team is given one ring that is mandatory, and it is now on your map.

Your designated ring is within apartment 231 on the second floor.

“Damn it,” I said. We should have seen that coming. There went everyone’s plans, including my own to find the electrical conduit system to just drop to the ground floor.

Osvaldo: Is your mandatory ring on the fourth floor?

Carl: No, second.

Osvaldo: Okay. That means we’re all given different ones.

“Okay. Shields up. Get ready,” Pontiff said as the starting lights appeared.